Being dyspraxic means that daily functions and activities don’t come as naturally to us. Coping with an increased mental effort to focus and sustain a task, having to cope in a specific social situation and understanding what others are expecting of you, decoding information you can’t quite understand or carrying out a motor task that has not been automated means greater effort is required for all of these events. It takes us 10x the amount of effort to do things than neurotypical individuals. Constant thought and consideration goes into how we carry out certain tasks which come naturally to others. In my individual experience with verbal dyspraxia, this is mainly with processing conversations, questions and formulating what I want to say.
While studying, it is also either about trying to concentrate (when it’s a topic I dislike it’s difficult to muster the motivation and I can get more easily distracted by other things on my laptop!) or forcing myself to take breaks when needed so I don’t experience burnout, which is another common occurrence with neurodivergent brains. Our brain always has to work harder to do things, which makes us get tired more easily and quickly than other people, even when we haven’t necessarily done more than someone else or been particularly busy.
The challenge of fatigue and being a student
The pressures and demands of studying for a degree at university can be tiring and draining at times to some extent for everyone, though because it takes me longer and more effort to participate in lectures and to grasp the theories effectively, coupled with requiring and always having to consider the executive functioning skills to stay organised and on top of things unlike other students, I find that I often arrive home feeling absolutely exhausted! This is while other members of my family are still working (full time); in recent times, I have really recognised that I get burnt out, overwhelmed and tired more easily and quickly than them because of how much harder I have to work.
Frustratingly, I often free my afternoons for study time either in the library or when I get home, but needless to say, my brain is too tired to concentrate by the time I get back. To help with this, I usually like to break up my day by stopping somewhere for a walk or a run on the way back, which can boost my energy and brain power so by the time I get back I can get another hour of studying in. I also tend to use a version of the pomodoro technique, although I adapt the timings of this to suit my individual study style.
My course is unlike other universities in that it has a stable structure of four mornings a week and one day studying from home. Being neurodivergent, I have found this very accessible and an incredibly good routine and balance for me. I tend to be productive on Wednesdays (my day at home) and am able to get more done when I’ve had a lie in, don’t have to go anywhere and feel refreshed! I think hybrid working would really suit me if I could find a flexible job in the future, as a blend of in-person teaching and home working has been ideal for me.
Scheduling in some set, non negotiable ‘me time’ at certain points in the week really helps to recharge my batteries and is also useful for maintaining a routine as well. For instance, most Tuesday evenings are reserved for my ‘pamper night’ with a face pack, foot spa, weighted blanket, weighted eye mask and whatever else I happen to have lurking in my designated pamper drawer! I also often prefer to be alone in the evenings during the working week, as I’ve had too much ‘people time’ during the day and feel like I need to rest and process the day!
Getting a balance and having boundaries
From September, I took on the role of Welfare & Inclusion Rep at university. This is in addition to the demands of third year, having higher word counts on assignment briefs and also trying to navigate the scary realisation that my time as an undergraduate student is coming to an end and trying to figure out what on earth I’m going to do in September!
Essentially, this role is about promoting mental health and wellbeing amongst students, and ensuring every student no matter their background or circumstance can achieve, therefore championing equality, diversity and inclusion. Amongst a team of Reps working within a different area, we plan, organise and host a number of free events for students around campus, liaise with the Students’ Union, Senior Course Reps and campus executives, and lead on campaigns.
So far, I have found this role rewarding but demanding. Numerous meetings and commitments take up my diary every week in addition to my lectures. Individual 1:1 meetings tend to require more input from me, and each meeting I go to requires careful planning of what I want to express beforehand due to the nature of my difficulty, which inevitably uses up my energy more. Group meetings can also be a challenge because I need more time to process and think about something before I answer, so I tend to agree/go with what the majority think on certain decisions that need to be made within a certain timeframe, and then sometimes can have different thoughts on something specific afterwards that I wish I’d thought of earlier! Various events I help to plan and organise happen every week, which I am expected to partake in. Socialising with different students I don’t know well or haven’t met before is difficult for me, although playing Uno has been helpful in starting conversations!
However, I know I’m not expected and don’t have the capacity to attend all of them. Studying for my degree remains my biggest priority of this year, so I’m increasingly learning to be selective and say no to certain events.
This year I have been a lot better at getting a life/work/study balance, and not overworking myself to burnout whilst still maintaining my hard work ethic. Increasingly I recognise the value and importance of scheduling time out and looking after myself, although I am still a perfectionist. Due to being acutely aware of taking longer to comprehend certain topics, I tend to overcompensate and actually finish an assignment a lot earlier than everyone else, which isn’t helpful either!
Next week I am required to attend a networking ‘Winter Mixer’ event in the evening which involves giving a mini presentation about what I do, introducing myself and socialising with a range of others involved with the university. Not easy for me to do! So I have decided to study from home during the day (as there is an online meeting I need to attend that clashes with my lecture anyway.) Making adjustments like this can sometimes be a good idea so I’m not overloading myself – either having to stay the entire day in Coventry or go home and come back later (which involves additional petrol/car parking costs) would definitely be overloading myself!
Even when I logistically can turn up to an event that’s happening at university, sometimes I just feel like I don’t have the mental/physical capacity or energy to do it after a four hour lecture as well, where I’ve likely had to contribute some of my thoughts and thus used some of my mental energy for the day. On these occasions, I have learned to say ‘no’ and apologise that I can’t make it because I’m ‘busy.’ (This goes for commitments/plans I make outside of university as well, sometimes I just don’t have the energy to be sociable.) Currently, I don’t have the confidence to say it’s because I need time to recharge or don’t have the energy, as many people won’t understand neurodivergent fatigue and how it differs to normal levels of tiredness. I hope I will one day feel able to be honest with people and explain it more to them! That said, I have been going to the majority of events I am involved in and have generally got back from university later this year compared to last year – which then requires me to recuperate more at home!
The spoon theory
The spoon theory is a metaphor which explains how much energy someone has in a visual way to encourage a self-pacing strategy. Through determining how many ‘spoons’ I have throughout the day and checking in with myself at regular points, I can decide what I can participate in and what to say no to.
When we wake up, most neurotypical people have an endless supply of spoons. With neurodivergent brains, we have more of a limited number of spoons, which causes the need for us to be meticulous about the choices we make depending on the amount of energy (spoons) we have on any given day, with different activities/commitments requiring a different number of spoons. It can be applicable and a useful analogy for everyone to recognise what they need and what areas to spend their energy on i.e. if you don’t sleep well one night, you’ll wake up with fewer spoons the next day. Fewer spoons means you can’t access as much energy.
The inconsistency in my energy levels can be a source of frustration for me, and I imagine could be interpreted as lazy or selfish due to having a ‘spikey spoon drawer.’ For instance, I almost always have the energy for a nice walk in nature as this really recharges me. On the other hand, I don’t always have the mental energy to attend a social event or meeting, or even contribute my ideas or findings in a lecture even when I have something to share, which could be deemed as unsociable and selective in what I choose to do. The number of spoons in specific areas can differ i.e. executive functioning, sensory, social etc. Having the knowledge of this is helpful so I can plan what I can do accordingly.
I will often use my awareness of my various spoons to motivate myself. For example, when I’ve agreed to cook the meal or I’ve committed myself to doing some cleaning, and then find that they require a high level of spoons on that day which I feel I’m lacking, I often pair that activity with something that recharges my energy (which is most often listening to my favourite upbeat music – a sure way to increase my motivation, energy and get me dancing round the kitchen!)
Sleep
To replenish the stock of spoons for the next day, a good quality and quantity of sleep is required. Unfortunately, people with dyspraxia also frequently report difficulties with sleeping, and this has remained a long-term issue for me, although instances of poor sleep now is less common than when I was younger. I find I need more sleep than neurotypical people, but it can also take me longer to fall asleep at night due to my brain being wide awake and constantly full of racing thoughts and worries – having an overactive brain is hard! Dyspraxia is known to be associated with anxiety disorders and mood disorders, and fatigue is known to be a factor in mental health issues. What is also complex is the intersection between the effort required, anxiety, depression, and fatigue. For some, the mental health conditions are not just co-occurring with neurodiversity but may be caused in some way by neurodiversity or by the challenges of navigating the world as a neurodiverse person.
In short, being a neurodivergent person in a neurotypical world can be exhausting because it takes us longer to do the things others sometimes take for granted. Life can be more overwhelming and complex for us to navigate, requiring more thought and therefore draining our energy more easily/quickly than others.
Imogen’s blog 